His penis totally gave me strep throat….
You know, …it’s a really weird sensation to have a boner and wanna throw up on yourself at the same time…
It’s amazing that I’m retarded or it’s retarded that I’m amazing?
He didn’t have Grandparents, they live in Mexico…
I don’t wanna put a ring on her, I just wanna punch her in the mouth!
Your bush has absolutely no creditablity anymore…
I so appreciate the learning you give to me.
He’s cute an all, but he’s not even buying your Subway….
Your hairs like a bad text message, its really confusing and there is a lot going on!
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a gay Stiffler.
I’d rather pull over a bus of kids with down syndrome AND get an eight ball, then go to THAT place.
I’m not going to go to a cabin and get stuck with a guy with a small penis for the weekand…
I’m gonna Scorpio the shit outta that bitch!
“I know peeing is a very relieving experience, but does it really merit the same groan as when I blow a load inside of you?”
This girl came into visit me, she’s half Hawaiian and half Japanese, so that means her parents likely met during the bombing of Pearl Harbor…
How do you feel about your daughter pink slipping Jesus?
So what your saying is, you were a car thief AND Einstein’s girlfriend in your past life?
Please come here! Give me a hug and lick my throat…
You never see a turtle on stilts anymore….
She’s pouting because she’s never been able to find Jesus or Waldo!
I’m sorry, but I think your vest is cutting off the circulation to your style!
The fact that he’s a major pussy eater, trumps everything!
Wait, so which cousin did you date?….Wait…. I’m sorry….have sex with?
Thoughts of my boner made you hungry, thoughts of my shit mouth made you horny….
She looks like a pile of American Apparel vomit….
